With England having one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Western Europe, everyone has an opinion on the subject, especially whether teenagers make good parents. The following are the honest views of a few of the teenage mums from the Batmans Hill PRU in Tipton, who describe what it’s like being a young parent and the reality of looking after their children.
It’s My Life
“When I first fell pregnant, people would stare at me and start talking about me. People who don’t agree with teenage pregnancy would look with disgust. I thought ok… people have their own opinions but it’s my life and I’ll do what I want with it. When people did speak about me it didn’t really bother me, but from time to time I did get annoyed with it. When I would get on and off the bus with my son people would give me funny looks and start muttering about me. I have got a beautiful son and I will do everything to give him the best opportunities I can offer. I will speak to him as openly as I can about all aspects of life.” - Rachael Dhanda (18)
It’s a big responsibility
“It’s weird from going to only having yourself to look after, to then having a baby to care for! It’s a big responsibility having to get up in the night, doing the milk bottles, making sure the clothes fit properly and that your child is getting rest. Also, for me as a parent, it takes a lot out of me. I am always tired and I found that when I did go to sleep my daughter would always wake up! It’s very important that you give your children love, care and attention, and that you teach them right from wrong. You should have a routine in place so that your child feels safe and knows what’s going to be happening next. You also have to make sure you play with your child, so you bond and learn about your child and their personality. It’s sometimes easy to fall into the same old daily routine, but you must think about yourself. This isn’t selfish; it’s about keeping your own mind healthy. It is very important to put some time aside for yourself so that you can relax or catch up with academic work, be with your friends and partner.” - Chantelle Millward (19)
The positives and negatives
“Having a child at such a young age meant I didn’t really get to live my life as other girls the same age as me did. I didn’t get to go out with my friends when they had finished school or if they knocked on the door for me I couldn’t really talk for long because my baby would start crying or needed caring for. If I invited my friends in they wouldn’t really stop long as they wanted to go out and have fun. It would be very rare if you could find a babysitter so you could go out. Even if you did, you wouldn’t really be at rest because you would be thinking about them all of the time. Also, you have to think about the morning after when you have to pick them up so you have to watch what you drink just so that you will be in a fit state of mind to look after them in the morning. The positive side to being a young mum is that when your child grows up into an adult you will still be young yourself, which means you can still live your life after because you won’t be too old!” - Danielle Pittaway (19)
Money Problems!
“We all have money problems but for me it is extra hard now that I’ve become a mother at such a young age. Before becoming a mother I never used to think about organising my money, I would spend it on any old junk that I didn’t really need! But now I have to think about another person other than myself. Now I have become a parent I have had to organise my money very carefully as I don’t get much of it, so I have to know what is important to buy. I have to pay my bills, buy shopping for my house and also nappies and clothing for my son. This doesn’t really leave me with much money to spend on myself, which can be very hard as sometimes I may need stuff for myself and I have to sacrifice it for my son. I think being in education is very important as I am studying to get a job which pays a decent wage. I will then be able to afford what I like without struggling to get by. I will also be able to support my family the way I want to and not just live off benefits as it’s not enough to live on. Even though I don’t have a lot of money my son still has all the love and attention he needs. I love my son with all my heart.” - Leanne Simpson (18)
Body change after birth
“After having my baby I stopped doing a lot of the exercises that I used to do because I don’t have the time. Now it’s more difficult because I have nobody to look after her. It is only now when my baby is nearly two years old that I realise how out of shape I am. Now I wished I had exercised when she was asleep and eat more healthily after her birth and not just get something quick to eat. Also I wish I had accepted more help form others when she was younger because now I would not be so unfit and overweight. Now I am determined to eat more healthily and begin to exercise a lot more with my child, for instance like walking and taking her to play in the park. Now I have a routine I stick to where I can eat a lot healthier and exercise with my daughter and my life is now contented.” – Sophia Fenthom (17)
Batmans Hill Pupil Referral Unit
The PRU offers support for young parents and creates an educational environment for young women appropriate to their personal need and aspiration. It also provides nursery provision.
Useful Links:
Here are some useful websites for teenage parents and young people in general:
www.justyouth.org.uk (a listings guide for the young people of Sandwell)
www.brook.org.uk (Brook advisory centres provide free sexual health advice and services for young people)
www.teenlifecheck.co.uk (for 12 to 15 year olds)
www.nhs-uk/lifecheck (for parents of young babies)
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